Saturday, April 23, 2011

Falling

Five months ago I was in a deep depression.
I cut off all my freinds. I isolated myself from everyone and everything.

I was a Zombie.
Walking dead.

Inside I was screaming but no one could hear me.

I used to work in a hotel.
Some days I would sit 45 floors up on the edge of the roof and stare down at my feet and the city below.
I don't know why I did it.

Perhaps I wanted to feel something... anything.

One day as my mind drifted off I lost track of time.
I realised I had been up there too long and being in a sitting position automatically went to stand up.

I caught myself in shock that I had almost dropped off the side of the building.
I felt a rush pass through me, the adrenaline coursing thru my veins.
It was at that moment I realised that "I was still alive"

That's when things started to turn for me.

I made a choice.
I chose to live.

As far as I've come I'm still out there teatering on the edge.
I don't want to fall but I feel as if I'm losing my grip.
I can feel myself slipping.

There's no one there to catch me.
I can't fall.

I've come so far.

Please don't let me fall.

3 comments:

  1. Don't be stupid and think of falling over just like that. Again at the end of the day it may sometimes feel like its the end of the road and there is no more sense moving on... there still is and that's you. You have always been reason enough for everything.

    Reason with yourself.

    And please don't go standing on ledges like that when your vulnerable, that's not helping at all. Besides whatever you are going through right now... that too shall pass. It may take forever but it will.

    Cry if you must but hey you'd eventually get tired of crying and when that does happen there is nothing else to do but smile because you made it through.

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  2. OMG, thankfully you didn't fall off the building Steve..

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  3. Thanks Dutchess... and Thank you Aik for the wake up call!

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