Temptation

An UPDATE on my sobriety and status as a virgin.

DRINKING
I went out Friday evening with a couple girlfriends in honour of one of the girls starting a new job.
Before we hit the bar we promised ourselves we'd have just one drink and that would be it.

The phrase "Don't make promises you can't keep" comes to mind.
Oh and by the way Malibu with Strawberry and Pineapple is delicious.

The music was great, the conversation flowed, and so did the drinks. Before we knew it our promise of having "just one" had evaporated. It was about this time a guy came over and offered to buy us shots. When he asked what I wanted I stood open mouthed but my girlfriend called out "he'll have tequila". We didn't drink all that much but I hadn't eaten anything all day so the alcohol really hit me.

That night I had plans with a guy friend. We were supposed to have dinner and then see a movie but I blew off dinner because I was having too much fun with the girls.

When I left the bar I was a little woozy and shaky on my feet so I arranged to meet him for coffee and a chat. I got there first so I ordered a quadruple shot tall black and found a table.
The idea... to sober up some before he arrived. While seated I managed to maintain my composure but he noticed I was a little "off" as soon as I stood up.

SMOKING
I've been doin well. I did have 3 cigarettes when we left the bar but they were social and we were drinking and I have a clause for that.

Saturday afternoon I had one more.
I ran into this cute guy I had met at a friend’s party the previous weekend.
I was drinking coffee and he was smoking when we met.
I wasn't sure if I was staring into his eyes or his cigarette.
I broke and asked him for one.
What can I say... there was a hot guy standing before me. I had to put something of his in my mouth and the cigarette was the better option.

SEX
Why is it when you don't want sex you get if offered to you over and over and over again?
I have denied my carnal needs for some time now but I broke on Sunday.

Physically it was a huge relief but it failed to satisfy me on any other level.
It was empty sex.
I didn’t sleep with Hiro because that would have been wrong.
So it was a random hook-up... no harm... no foul.


I feel like I was tested this weekend and that I failed miserably.
I am disappointed in myself.
However, I do not consider it an epic fail more a slip.
I fell off the horse but my intention is to get right back on and try again.

How long can one avoid temptation before we give in?
Does our resolve strengthen or do we simply lose the desire?

I'll let you know when I find out.