Let Them Eat Cake

A friend of mine has reached a relationship cross roads.
He messaged me in crisis...

OMG STEVE
SO need a fucking blog to pour my emotions out....
All I can say is Chris and Kyle...
Who Am I Living For?
I Slept with Chris last night but then learnt some dark secrets....FMLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!
RIGHT NOW at this very moment, Kyle does not exist. Chris does....

I don't know what I want....I want to have my cake and eat it too.

It was after that last comment that I began to analyze the different men in my friends life and what kinda cakes each would represent.

I refer to my friend as "Strawberry Short Cake" because of his strawberry blond hair.
Others have claimed he is a Ranga (a red head) but "Carrot Cake" isn't a cute enough description

Currently on the menu we have

CHRIS  (Christmas Cake)
Chris is the "ex boyfriend who never really left the scene.
Their actual relationship lasted several years but has been over for some time now.
They still have this strange almost symbiotic connection.
They talk frequently, dine out weekly, holiday with each other and have even lived together post break up.
My friend has told me he sometimes feels as if he is being stalked and can find the relationship to be somewhat suffocating. He has also expressed concern over hurting his ex and some confusion over where the boundaries lay.

I think Chris is like comfort food.
Like a "Christmas Cake" he's been sitting on the shelf for a while... we take comfort in knowing he is there should we need him. My concern is that he may have been on the shelf a little too long and has gone bad.

Then there is...

KYLE  ("Bakery Special" Cake)
Kyle is the "potential boyfriend" from far far away.
The connection was instant and hard to ignore.
They met at a club thru mutual friends while Kyle was on vacation from Canberra.
They realised their mutual attraction during a 3 hour make out session.
He returned home and the two of them have been corresponding via txt, email, facebook, phone calls and fucking smoke signals ever since.
It's an interesting relationship as the distance has forced them to really get to know each other.
After a couple of weeks my friend could no longer stand being apart and flew down for the weekend.
Apart from a few drunken exorcist moments the visit went extremely well.

I compare Kyle to a "Bakery Special" cake. You've had a taste test and you really really like it... but he's not currently "in stock". All you can do is place an order and hope that you don't have to wait too long for another bite.

I was having so much fun doin the Man/Cake comparisons... I kept goin

Also on the menu we have...

WORK BEN  (Sponge Cake)
More accurately speaking he is a "Sponge Cake" that never rose.
My friend had a massive crush on "WORK BEN" but despite all his best efforts he never did get a taste.
Frankly after meeting WORK BEN myself... I don't think he's fit for consumption.

and last but not least..

ORIGINAL BEN  (Wedding Cake)
Original Ben is a friend who happens to be fucking HOT.
He also happens to be in a long term committed relationship.
Still there is an undeniable attraction between them but nothing has ever come of it.
He is like the top of a "Wedding Cake"
You know the piece a couple will keep after the wedding.
He is tempting as hell to eat but you just can't have a piece.

I don't envy my friend Strawberry but I did enjoy creating these cake anologies.
I think it put a smile on his face...

The last thing I said to him was this

In the words of Marie Antoinette "let them eat cake" just remember that bitch lost her head.