Uncharted Territory

How do you know when you’re over the hill?

When you spend all Saturday night playing Monopoly.
It sounds so sad but what’s worse is I actually had a lot of fun.

Anyway... 8.30 Monday morning... I'm about to go to bed when I receive a txt...
The message is from Hiro. It reads

"Hey there Sexy
Hope I didn’t wake you
Have you even gone to bed yet?
I get off work in 30 mins
Love to take you out for breakfast
Are you up for it?"

It was typical of him to be so cute... even via txt

I thought about it for a moment and sent my reply

"Sure... call me when you’re done"

I had agreed to meet with him but was unsure what for exactly.
I have recently taken a vow of chastity after all and my relationship with Hiro up until this point has been entirely based on sex.

This was uncharted territory...

He picked me up and took me to this great little cafe. It was a really nice place but after perusing the menu I decided I'd rather just have coffee and cigarettes.
He felt the same way so we ordered coffee to go and found a quiet place to talk.

It was strange having an actual conversation that wasn’t all heading in the direction of the bedroom.
We have chatted before about non sexually related stuff but only really online never face to face.
I felt awkward at first but he quickly put me at ease.

After breakfast we went back to his place
We began our regular song and dance that usually leads to sex but I remained strong... and besides I wasn't in the mood.
I wondered why I'd even gone back there.

I didn't feel sexy.
I felt vulnerable...

For the first time I had allowed myself to engage with him as a person and it was scaring the shit out of me.
Every fibre in my being was screaming for me to get the hell out of there but I couldn't.
He was so comforting and so disarming. I didn’t want to leave.

He must have sensed my mood because he just stopped and he held me in his arms.
We both lay there for what felt like an eternity.
I wanted to speak but I couldn’t find the words so I just lay there in his arms and fell asleep.

We slept all day.

When I woke I was hungry so he cooked noodles and we ate them in bed.

He asked me if I wanted to stay but I told him that I had to get home.

He dropped me off kissed me goodbye and told me he hoped we could do this again sometime
Of course my sarcastic distrusting nature forced me to ask...

"Why?... you didn’t even get laid"

His response...

"I enjoy being with you... and "this" was nice"

Then he kissed me again

I did my best not to let him see me smile as he drove away.

I don't know what "this" is but I think I'm willing to find out.
All I know for sure is... I'm smiling... the first genuine smile in a long time.