Monday, March 14, 2011

Missing...

A long lost friend messaged me today.

Her name is Jade.

Jade is one of those people who was once a very important part of my life.
Although I jokingly mention her every now and again to my friends I hadn't really thought about her or how I feel about her in a long time.

Turns out I miss her.

At the moment I'm missing a lot of people....
Maybe I'm nostalgic?
Maybe I'm lonely?

I miss how we once were...

Once upon a time we were really close.
We used to go to primary school together, we worked together for almost 4 years, we lived together for almost 2 years... but somewhere along the line we fell out.

Things went too far, beyond the point of us ever being able to go back.
I didn’t like the person she had become or the person I became when I was with her.
So we ended it.

I seem to do that allot.

Do I continue to associate with the wrong people or is it just me?
Am I to blame?

It takes a lot for me to "write someone off" but for some reason I keep having to do it.
It's not something I take lightly as I am an extremely emotional person and it's very hard for me to let go of someone I have bonded with.

Sometimes you don't have a choice.
You have to let go.

Even though you know it will really hurt... sometimes it hurts more holding on.
Is it selfish to choose yourself over a relationship?
Maybe I don't know... but sometimes it can't be any other way?

Currently

I miss my Sister
I miss Sonny
I miss Jillian
I miss Jamie
I miss EJ
I miss Jade

I haven't let go of all of these people but the nature of all these relationships has changed.

I miss how we once were...


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