Thursday, October 14, 2010

Connection vs. History

So... recently I've found myself at odds with friend I thought I was close with.
A friend who I have this strange connection with... you know the kinda connection where it's so easy to relate to one another and  it’s so comfortable. Almost like you have known each other for years. Like you have a history... only you don't.

That becomes really obvious when you have a falling out. When someone crosses that invisible line, the line that hurts. It's only words... when said by a random those words wouldn’t mean a thing, but if the person saying those words is close to you, the weight is so heavy it hits you like a brick.

A friend that you share a "history" with rather than a just a "connection" knows better. They have been there through thick and thin. They know "you" good and bad, inside and out. Maybe even better than you know yourself. Nothing compares to a shared "history" between friends, a mutual understanding of each other.

So... now I ask myself. It is really this "connection" friends fault that he crossed the line, or am I to blame??? For treating him as if he were a "history" kinda friend???

I don't know the answer to this question... all I know is I am hurt and I now think differently of that particular relationship.

But... yes there is a but. I am not without hope.

You see what if this "connection" friend and I get thru this little hurdle. What if we continue our friendship over an extended period of time. Enough time to maybe acquire... a shared history.
Then I could reclassify him a "history" friend and none of this shit would matter.

It is different now... but thats not a bad thing.
Let's hope the little fucker doesn’t cross the line again... at least until he has some "history" under his belt

Wish us luck!

1 comment:

  1. i didn't realize "history" could run out. interesting ruminations, excile. :)

    ReplyDelete